First post of 2011

I realise my last post was in November. Oh well, anyways, I just want to say:

  • I’m so restless!
  • I’m fiddling with the idea of smoking. Which I really shouldn’t because I think it contributes to my declining health (i.e. I’m prone to coughs and colds). I’m trying to stop smoking for a while.
  • I really should just give the thing I’m working on one final check and hand it in.
  • I want a house of our own where we have a nice kitchen with an oven, blender and all those nifty appliances so I can (try to) be a domestic goddess. And in that house, I’d love to have a nice bathroom where there is a normal water heater so I don’t have to worry about getting home late and deciding whether I have time to boil water to shower or not (I’m sorry if that’s kinda TMI. I usually do wash up, even when I haven’t really been sweating). And I just want more space and not feel guilty about invading other people’s space.
  • My nose is blocked again. It’s been weeks, I wonder where did this allergic reaction (to dust or God knows what) came from.
  • I’m quite stressed out about money really. Like, I’ll be paying for my house mortgage next year and there is also the cost of fixing it up and buying fixtures and lightings and furnishings and don’t know what else. And paying for me and Pete’s own place, if we ever get around to buying one. I know there’s that condo in Cyberjaya that’ll be ready in three years but I really want something more immediate (like can move in one year?). That’s another major expense. The bills. And what if I get pregnant? Oh, all that’s going to cost a bomb. And I don’t want this to cause a rift between us, knowing that finances is a major cause of quarrels in ANY relationship.
  • I need to have a more organised life. All my post-its and notes are everywhere on my table. I still have clothes and stuff packed up in the Seremban house because there’s no room for them at Pete’s. SEE WHAT I MEAN ABOUT NEEDING SPACE.
  • Speaking of needing space, I had a little fight with Pete yesterday evening after work. And, usually when people fight, they won’t be in the same room, they’ll want to have some space. Unfortunately for me, I can’t. I had to go into our room and watch TV while eating yoghurt to ease my gastric pains (which is gone today. Phew). Awkward really, but then we started speaking and it was mostly normal. My point is, I wish I can go to another room to sulk when we fight instead of me having to shamelessly go back into the same room because I have no where else to hang 😦 I’m pathetic aren’t I.
  • I know I sound like I’m complaining and whining but I can’t help it. These have been festering in me and I’ve tried talking about it but somehow it doesn’t work (maybe I’m not doing it right).
  • After taking the Pill for about 10 days, I’ve stopped because even though my period normally stops after three days, there is still light bleeding, which annoys the hell out of me. And I got really bad gastric even though I eat my meals. And I think my libido is down (which maybe it’s how they stop people from getting pregnant). Maybe it’s no biggie (and all those side effects are written in their leaflet) but my instinct tells me I should stop. So there, a waste of RM75. At least now I know.
  • I’m writing all these down, not because I want to disgust you with all the TMI-ness, but so I can remember and reflect when I read this back much later.

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