i dont wanna be affected by it & i try & try to control but at the end of the day i failed. i think this is one of my regular phases, i have bouts of this & then it goes away & then recurs. emotionally unstable. shite

Tammy read me this poem by Dan Brown, that somehow resonated with us at this point in life. haih, dah la emo, baca ni lagi. mari sama-sama emo


Lost in a world, that scares me to death,
Lost in a crowd, I’m losing my breath.
Lost as a boy, lost as a man,
I need to grow up, don’t think I can.

Lost as a person, can’t find my way.
Lost in life, every day.
Lost in worry, who am I?
All my life, I’ve lived a lie.

Lost to kindness, lost to love,
Lost in a sky, like a new-born dove.
Lost in thought, which I shouldn’t do,
It winds me up, I can’t get through.

Lost to comfort, all kind words,
Lost to advice, it isn’t heard.
Lost to those who really care,
All these people, always there.

Lost in me, I need a break,
Lost in wonder, which road to take?
Lost in a place I don’t know well,
Where are you now? There’s no one to tell.

Lost here, all alone,
Lost apart from the mobile phone.
Lost still, there are no calls.
I’m struggling alone, to break these walls.

Lost in mind, lost in soul,
Lost memories, they’re just a hole.
Lost family, lost mate,
Gone now, yet I’m full of hate.

Lost in a straight world, and I am gay,
Lost now, for what to say,
Lost in boredom, think I’ll leave.
There’s a lot in life I need to achieve.

im lost. im tired. im sad. im upset. im angry. im hurt. i dont know what i want. i’ve no balls. bleh

i wanna marry wanna (friend wrote this, clever)

i probably need therapy & a vacation, hahaha

* edit: im not so angry/upset now. wrote this on Monday night & didnt post it up. woke up this morning feeling way better (my rollercoaster emotions – proof that i need a shrink, hehe). still, i wanna share the poem. & yay! im so glad its a long holiday. i dont know what im gonna do with all the free time but hell, im just happy for the break =D


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