tonight, we dine in hell!!!

watched 300 on friday night with tammy & tony. feel kinda like ‘lamp-post’, (which i technically was) but then i wanted to watch the movie & i enjoy hanging out with them =D

so anyways, the movie got a whole load of machismo & testosterone going on & really, not much of a script. but i was so insistent on watching it, even after reading reviews that its all visual, no substance. watched the trailer months ago, i was like “OMF! must watch! the visuals & the men look damn hot”. some more, i like it when a movie is based on a graphic novel / comic. i like comics, though i seldom get to read them, usually watch

but i digress. i dont know if it was the angle from where we were sitting (2nd row from front, on the right some more), but the visuals werent as i expected. i mean, i like the sepia-look & all, but it didnt look as great as it were on the trailers. but the men, were, sigh. i dont usually like very big, muscular men but the Spartans were damn well-defined & well-built. especially liked the guy who jumped in his loin-cloth a few feet to cut that Persian emissary’s arm off. wow, he has some muscles! okla, cos maybe he was the thinnest among them all. i’m still wondering if he’s the same guy who shared friendly jibes with the Captain’s son?

so anyways, the movie wasnt that great, not memorable, except i love the scene where the queen stabbed that traitor bastard, Theron & the lines she uttered, aah, i almost cheered! i expected Rodrigo Santoro (King Xerxes) to be hot (cause he was in Charlie’s Angels & Love Actually) but i thought he looked & sounded weird. i know la, of course that voice wasnt his

***

i still feel bad about what happened. i know its my fault and i hope he gets over it soon. some more, i’m so bad la, find one of his friends attractive. what the hell la… i know i went too fast, made that mistake & will try not to next time (i dare not promise, but will try my damnest. this experience has taught me to be more careful & clear next time). i dont want to be gelar the ‘S’ or ‘W’ word, though, hehe, its kinda perasaan of me to think that i layak. like as if la… i dont want to disappoint/disgust my friends either. but i’m trying to avoid that

***

i know i’m getting shallower (or have i always been this shallow?) & i know i’ve changed or evolved, so to speak. dont know for better or worse. asked my sis, she said i havent changed. still as babi. i think i’m losing touch with what i believed in or was passionate about last time. damn, i think my priorities have changed. it’s not like i’m unhappy or anything, i’m just a bit wary of becoming someone so shallow, self-centred & out of touch with the world. hope not… i really should go to church once in a while

i also know i’m always NATO and say “I don’t know”. i’m always confused about my feelings or take some time to understand them. i dont know how to get out of this so-called rut. wish i always know exactly how i feel & think, sooner rather than til its too late

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