erratic.ness

its amazing how boredom & late nights can mesh up to bring inspiration 4 me to write. sometimes out of the blue, some distant memory will fill my head but i couldnt get to a computer so i just let it pass

now what do i wanna write bout? i just went to the ol LP’s msg board, where i was quite active 2-3 years back. miss the people i know there. i’ve been paying sporadic visits to it, sometimes just to see how everythings going with the others & 4 LP news. now, i dont even know half the people actively posting there

oct 15. almost a year ago, i had a dream come true. i was watching Lp perform live 4 the 1st time in my live. to have read & heard bout the amazingness of LP’s concerts from other lucky fans, i couldnt believe that i was gonna join them. it was during my SAM trials, which to me then was no big deal cos it had no effect on my final results. though after the concert, it was all a blur, sometimes when i listen to LP’s records again, especially live in texas, i get all nostalgic/deja-vu again. i love reliving the moments when they came out onstage with dont stay, then me sreaming & jumping at the top of my lungs. of me singing along to every damn song & maybe annoying the rest, hahha. of LP singing pushing me away (possibly my fave non-single), the reanimated version..so beautiful..of us shouting ‘shut up’ & releasing all these energy. i could feel the electric in the air & adrenaline running through my veins..it was the best concert ever 4 a first-timer..i miss them & the feeling of just letting it all out & jumping & screaming & being out of breathe & just being crushed by thousands of bodies

***

i wish i could write better & think clearer. i hate being alone at night & when waking up. the feeling of loneliness is an endless dark pit, where u just fall & fall until u feel overwhelmed & cant breathe anymore…..i like nights & rainy days but lonely days doesnt discriminate or warn u, it just chooses a time & place & bam! it hits u…i miss my sis, i miss interacting with friends, i wish i had someone with me…i should sleep or read myself to sleep

current song: travis’ re-offender (very emotional & poignant song)

*i should drink more water & exercise more…..dancing seems fun*


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